What is deep?
“It was deep calling unto deep—the deep that my own struggle had opened up within being answered by the unfathomable deep without, reaching beyond the stars.” -William James
To seek is to dig or dive, and sometimes be sunk by one’s search. That search is to find what one is capable of. To seek and to go deep is to risk what you have now in exchange for something that you can’t even fathom.
Going deep is not always going the fastest, nor is it guaranteed by going the furthest. Depth is a measurement of internal struggle, a will at war with itself. It is to sink until our own voice beckons us like common sense to return, a voice that contradicts what we set out to do in the first place—explore. To go deep is to risk not returning, or to risk returning different than when you left. We want the pressures of depth to affect us, to form us, we want change but fear it.
What is it about the fright of not making it back that gives us the power to change? It is peculiar because a body at rest has no need to change. We are well suited for the surface, for the superficial, but for some, what lurks below calls too loudly. And into discomfort we plunge.
It is this notion, this calling that is common, it is the answer that is rare. Some use the height of mountains and coldness of altitude, others use the intensity of physical pain or the distance of suffering, and some use the actual depth of the ocean and its life-taking pressure in order to reveal what one does not yet know about oneself.
Perhaps it is relative, but the line is the line—however blurry it may be— to cross it is to never come home, to touch it and return, well, that would be the point.
10min easy ride
400m easy run
With a running clock
“Death by Burpee” (whatever is your last minute of completed burpees will be your “score” to take away form the machine cals)
40x cal Airbike (ie; if I got to minute 20 then I only have to do 20 cals)
40x cal ski
The point is to go deep, to ride the questioning line of “if I go another minute, how fucked up am I going to be?” Do yourself a favor and go deep, leave no question that you went as far as you could, the rest will take care of itself.
The beauty of utility.
We have been making things. In most cases we couldn’t even imagine what the final product would be, but we persisted, we held a high standard and we observed our mistakes, when we could, we made corrections. Sometimes the mistakes were minute, like the subjective layout of text on a page or a floating word over a picture that was nothing more than a ghost on the digital proof. Other times they were drastic mistakes and whole people fell through our filters, in either case we adjusted and kept at it, we kept making things. And now we are at a point where I’ve come to realize that we’ve actually written, designed, and published our very first book. I wasn’t alone in this venture and when I look at the list of people that we have collaborated with, I’m more than a bit humbled. I realize that I am living what most people dream of—not that people want to be me, but that most people want to be making something that is of use, with people that they love and respect.
I believe in every ounce of it. Because it is useful. The words in RAZE, punctuated by the photographs is exactly what I want to share with everyone—specifically—because it isn’t for everyone. In most cases the articles that I authored are pieces of me, and although they are a glance of what I was at the time, they sum up what it is to grow. I have a profound feeling of gratitude as I wrap each and every order that has come through. Our ideas are not easy to swallow, they are not nice, they don’t ease pain, but they are useful. And now that I wrap each one of these books in a piece of delicate, black tissue paper I realize the juxtaposition of it all; that we have to push uncomfortable ideas into a loving package.
What we produce isn’t about attention; it is to acknowledge inattention. I say this in the wake of our ongoing personal struggle; we are faced with a delicate balance. It is the promotion of a work that we believe in and have worked tirelessly for, but will only become realized by thrusting it into a world that is fueled by attention seeking, this world only rewards relevance for the 15-seconds that it can capture from a user, so we fight for attention and use engines that reward inattention. I guess “struggle” is a strong word, inaccurate perhaps, because we aren’t pushing anything, people are coming, they want to see what we have been up to, they want to see how what we have transformed into fits into their lives, even if it only sits on their shelf.
I am speechless because we are almost halfway sold out of what we thought would be enough stock to last a year… it has only been for sale for 4-days. I know what we have been doing is of use because it has been useful to me. Perhaps I sound a bit exasperated at times from the day to day operations, but really, I acknowledge this time in my life as a point where I dedicated sitting in a room to have conversations with a man whom I admire and have profound respect for. They are not easy conversations, but he speaks to me like a friend so that I can handle the honesty, so that I can appreciate the moment for what it is, even if it is to know that I misused a word.
These are fragile times. We have a strong message. And it is wrapped in delicate, black tissue.
3, 6, 9… 30 Air bike cals
3, 6, 9… 30 wall balls unbroken
10, 20, 30… 100 double under
60 on 60 off to get 200cal on AB
however many calories you hit in the minute of work you will hold in the second minute in a plank. Repeat until 200cal have been attained.
How Do I Find That Feeling?
Its a groove that goes missing, sometimes for years. What is the training equivalent of writers block? It isn’t over training, thats different, you generally have to be motivated in order to do that. What if it’s hard to even put your shoes on, what if I don’t feel like paying attention to my food, who cares about quality of sleep, when I don’t want to wake up?
I don’t know the answer to this one.
I just know it takes time, time to heal, time to recover, time to rest and relearn that this IS enjoyable. More gives way to more, so start small, put your shoes on and show up, expect nothing. Then, show up with your mind, but still expect nothing. Then one day you will show up and you will have showed up. You will dig deep because you are present, because being able is a present, a gift that you wrapped for your future unknowing self.
400m run between rounds
With a partner for time:
100x push ups
300x cals AB
25 BJ @ 30”
When to add, when to take away.
Most of our relationship with training is about accumulation. We try to add volume and a catalog of skills in order to broaden the range and capacity of our ability. But adding mileage, movements, and mobility is only the first phase.
One of the hardest concepts to realize is that eventually an “arrival” isn’t based on what you add but what you take away. We call this “sharpening”. The purpose is to hone what is already there. Adding intensity—to any energy system—first requires a base that can support a final point. If I lack a broad base, I’ll end up with a flimsy edge; temperamental and unreliable. If my base is too broad and lacks depth, I will be without the ability to express my true potential, I will be unable to realize deeply.
There isn’t a prescription for arrival, but there are sign posts for when a shift of emphasis should take place. What you can uncover will be dependent on what you can first build, and also, how many times you have built it up and carved it away.
Some people are always building, always accumulating, afraid of losing the hard won base. Others do nothing but sharpen, but in fear of losing their edge, they never realize a true one.
Unbroken wall balls @ 20lbs
Time is the completion time plus the time it takes to recover to a point that you could score the same exact score. 17:36
Work to heavy 5x Deadlift @375
5 rounds for time
15x squats @ 95lbs